“She’s a typical mare, she’s so stubborn.”
Mares have been given a bad rap for too long, and it would be amazing to rethink how we consider mares. I’ve been meaning to write this blog for a while, because it’s something that I’ve thought about a lot over the past few years working as an equine osteopath.
Over the years, I’ve often heard people talk about how difficult and sometimes uncooperative some mares can be. It can be light jokes like “she’s a typical mare, she’s so stubborn” or “geldings are so much easier”. And I can’t help feeling that this comes back to two points: some mares are too much for us, and we’ve forgotten that geldings are not full horses.
Note that I’m not talking about mares suffering from painful undiagnosed pathologies here. I’m talking about healthy mares having an opinion on what happens to them.
And there’s a world of difference between the two.
The science behind mare behaviour
Before we dive deeper, let me share what research actually tells us about mare behaviour. Recent studies have challenged many of the stereotypes we hold about mares vs geldings.
A comprehensive study of horse enthusiasts, 75% of whom had more than eight years of riding experience, revealed that riders prefer geldings over mares and stallions. The catch? These preferences stem from preconceived notions rather than actual behavioural differences.
The research shows that when they have the same training methods, handling experience, and physical health, mares don’t actually display more “difficult” behaviours than geldings. What they do display is more authentic horse behaviour. And that’s where the real conversation needs to start.
I’ve worked with hundreds of horses over the years, and I can tell you that the mares who get labelled as “difficult” are often the ones trying to communicate something important. They’re not being stubborn for the sake of it. They’re being full horses in the truest sense of the word.
What makes a mare a “full horse”?
So what do I mean when I say mares are “full horses”? Well, to me, a mare is just a horse that is fully themselves, and I mean that in the most basic, biological sense.
A mare, unlike a gelding, still has her complete reproductive system and all the hormones and herd instincts that come with it. In mares, estrogen brings the mare into heat and prepares her reproductive tract for breeding, while progesterone keeps her out of heat.
This hormonal balance in horses creates a complex interplay that affects not just reproduction, but behaviour, decision making, social dynamics, and even how they process pain and stress.
During estrus, mares experience heightened sensitivity and awareness. They’re more reactive to their environment, more selective about who they interact with, and more likely to express preferences about how they’re handled. This isn’t a flaw in their design. It’s a feature. In the wild, this heightened awareness during breeding season would have been an important part of survival and successful reproduction.
But we’ve gotten so used to the more muted responses of geldings that we’ve forgotten what normal horse behaviour actually looks like. We’ve normalised the modified version and started viewing the authentic version as problematic.
What is a gelding?
A gelding is a castrated male horse. These are horses that would have been stallions if we hadn’t intervened, and we all know how opinionated those can be! Geldings are man made, and the only reason they’re easier to handle is because we removed a major source of their attitude: their testicles (and all the hormones that come with them).
This is precisely why geldings are calmer, and why we geld young male horses, to have animals that are easier to handle and easier to manage in herds. Castration removes the primary source of testosterone, which dramatically reduces territorial behaviour, aggression, and the intense focus that comes with breeding instincts.
The procedure often results in a calmer demeanor compared to stallions, who can be more spirited due to their hormones. We’ve essentially created a horse with diminished hormonal drive, which naturally results in less assertive behaviour.
But here’s what we don’t talk about enough: we didn’t just remove aggression when we castrated these horses. We also removed a portion of their instinctive leadership qualities, and their authentic emotional range.
Geldings are wonderful horses, don’t get me wrong, most of my patients are geldings and all of them are wonderful horses. But they’re not expressing the full spectrum of equine behaviour, and would most likely handle situations differently today if they still had testicles.
The real difference between mares and geldings
The difference between mares and geldings isn’t just physical. It’s about authentic expression of natural horse behaviour.
When people ask me “are mares more difficult than geldings?” or wonder “why are mares harder to train?” I always turn the question around. Are they really more difficult, or are we just not equipped to handle a horse that hasn’t been hormonally modified?
Think about it this way. Has anyone ridden a stallion lately? They can be an absolute pleasure to train and have around, but we also know to expect a lot more attitude from them! We respect their opinions, work with their energy, and adjust our approach accordingly. We don’t expect a stallion to be a pushover, and we don’t label them as “difficult” when they express preferences or set boundaries.
But somehow, when it comes to mares, we struggle with the concept. We expect them to be compliant like geldings, but retain the intelligence and sensitivity that makes them such incredible partners. We want the best of both worlds without acknowledging that you can’t have authentic partnership without authentic expression.
The truth is, mares will tell you when something doesn’t feel right. They’ll communicate when they’re uncomfortable, when they’re confused, or, unfortunately for us, when they disagree with our approach.
This isn’t stubbornness. This is intelligence. This is self advocacy. This is exactly what we should want from a thousand pound animal that cannot use our verbal language.
A different approach to being around mares
Being around mares with strong opinions requires us to shift our mindset completely. Instead of viewing their assertiveness as problematic, we need to recognise it as intelligent self advocacy. She’ll do what you ask if it makes sense to her, she probably won’t accept everything from you, she will have many opinions about what happens to her, and she will be clear about her likes and dislikes. As it should be!
This is where understanding your mare becomes crucial.
Mares often have stronger boundaries and will communicate when something doesn’t feel right. They have higher standards and expect consistency and fairness in training.
They possess better body awareness and are often more attuned to physical discomfort or imbalance than geldings. Their natural role as mothers makes them highly perceptive to herd dynamics and gives them complex social intelligence that we often underestimate.
I’ve noticed that mares respond exceptionally well to trainers who approach them as equals rather than subordinates. They want to be partners in the process, not just recipients of commands.
Handling opinionated horses: Skills we’re not always taught
When people say geldings are much easier, all I can think is that we’ve forgotten what it’s like to handle horses that are fully themselves. Horses that will take a lot less rubbish from us and will stand up for themselves a lot more.
Handling opinionated horses requires elevated horsemanship skills that many of us have simply not been taught.
- You need clear communication because mares respond better to consistent, fair leadership.
- You must regulate your emotions because they’re incredibly sensitive to our energy and mood. A mare will pick up on your frustration, anxiety, or impatience long before you realise you’re broadcasting it.
- You need physical awareness because they’re often the first to tell us when something is wrong with our riding or their bodies. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen a mare labelled as “difficult” or “sour” when the real issue was an ill fitting saddle, a rider who was unbalanced, or a physical problem that needed addressing.
- You must respect their boundaries because they teach us to ask rather than demand. A mare will teach you to be a better horseperson because she won’t accept anything less than your best effort. She’ll force you to improve your timing, your balance, your emotional regulation, and your communication skills.
This isn’t a bad thing. This is a gift.
Reframing the narrative
So next time you’re tempted to criticise a mare’s strong mindedness, remember that this is what a horse is. A true, full horse. If it feels like too much, maybe the answer isn’t to label mares as difficult. Maybe it’s to grow our skills and knowledge around horses instead.
The horses in our lives aren’t machines. They’re not motorcycles with legs. They’re sentient beings with thoughts, feelings, preferences, and the right to express those preferences in appropriate and safe ways. When we honor that reality, we get better horses and become better horsepeople.
Celebrating mare authenticity
The equine industry has spent decades breeding and training for compliance, but mares remind us that true partnership requires mutual respect. They’re not stubborn. They’re selective. They’re not difficult. They’re discerning. They’re not moody. They’re authentic.
When we stop trying to make mares behave like geldings and start appreciating them for who they are, we discover partners who will give us their all, but only if we’ve earned it. And honestly, isn’t that exactly the kind of relationship we should want with such magnificent animals?
The best mare relationships I’ve witnessed are built on mutual respect, clear communication, and genuine partnership. These mares will move mountains for their people, but they expect to be treated as the intelligent, capable beings they are.
If the mare, gelding, or stallion in your life isn’t feeling like themselves, let’s talk.
My treatments work with your horse’s unique needs and responses, honoring their individual nature while addressing any physical discomfort that might be affecting their wellbeing. Because every horse, regardless of their gender, deserves to feel comfortable in their own body and confident in their partnership with us.
Ready to help your horse feel like themselves again? Reach out today.